Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
