i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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