Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
