so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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