it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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