Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
