I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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