i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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