I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize