i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
