this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
