im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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