i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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