I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
