Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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