My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
