I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Ladies don't puke and tell
I need a beard to bite.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
