he shaved USA in his pubs
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
