K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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