We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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