how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
