i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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