i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Where is the hickey?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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