Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
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Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
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I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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