this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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