He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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