Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
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i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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