no, he came in my armpit
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
