No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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