If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
