Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
