Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
