i barfeds in our rink
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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