Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
