hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
zippers are such a cool invention
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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