I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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