He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
