Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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