i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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