yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
