I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize