We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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