I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
