Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
