and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
