i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize