"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
