Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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