If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
