my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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