Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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