u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
