You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
