We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
