the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
