you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
