I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
